Klaudia Kosicińska
An orchid three years after the outbreak of the full-scale war in Ukraine. Photo taken by the protagonist of the text.
- It was more like we had the sense that we have so many friends, they all know that we are in Wrocław, so they can expect that if they need to find a place, with us they have that place. That is, we felt silly that we would take someone, and then these people would come, on the principle that if we know each other, you will help us, and we will say what? Well, we don't have a room for you anymore? It was more that way.
They understood that since eventually (or at least for that moment) their friends decided to stay in Ukraine, some even volunteered to join the army and there are no requests on their part to host relatives either, they can take in a stranger. Especially since Ewa's daughter was already living in another place so her room stood vacant. Soon after, from a musician friend, they learned about Alina, a student at Kyiv's music academy. He met her for several days in a row at the Actors' Song Festival at a theater in Wrocław, and she gave the impression that she had nowhere to go. When it turned out that she was staying in a temporary accommodation on a specially adapted mezzanine floor at the Central Station, he called Ewa and Piotr to ask if they knew of a place where she could board. He was already hosting a family from Ukraine, so there was no place anymore in his apartment. – Ewka, Paweł called and there is such a girl, so what, I guess we take her? – We're taking her!
– At first I asked her how long she wanted to stay: – I don't know, maybe a week, she replied. She stayed four. These were four weeks full of specific interruptions caused by the sense of instability the young refugee was feeling.
That day, when Alina was supposed to move in, Piotr was in another city at the time. By the time he returned to Wrocław, they had spent a few days in the apartment alone. He arrived with gifts: - I, of course, attacked her with such Ukrainianness. With Kyiv cake, Kyiv cognac, which I bought in a local Ukrainian store. Ewa laughs: – Piotr imagined it was a feast!
But Alina was not like many of the Ukrainian friends they had met so far. – I started talking to her, and I could see that she was completely different from what she had always been, that she was someone, well, kind of withdrawn. It was a challenge for me, because I had contact with many Ukrainians, and she was difficult to talk to me.
Ewa had a better relationship with Alina than Piotr. They spent time together more often, talking mostly in English, because that's how Alina wanted it, even though, according to Ewa, she didn't know the language very well. It was difficult to gain her trust. – In fact, the whole stay was such an internal tug-of-war for her, what to do with herself, Ewa recalls. Every day she would pack her things and go to the train station, check the buses, and then come back.
– This fear was paralyzing her, overwhelming her. We didn't know how to help her.
One day she left the apartment, saying that she had decided to go to Germany, but did not respond to messages sent by Ewa, after which it turned out that she did not go in the end. However, she did not return to her hosts and spent two days at the train station instead, the same place she went to at the beginning. According to them, she was afraid to ask for hospitality again, since initially she was only going to stay a week. Then she went back to Ewa and Piotr's apartment again.
The gift that Ewa received from Alina became, for the recipient, a symbol of the dynamics of the relationship that existed between her and the hosted refugee. – I remember that Alina went on her last – as it turned out – shopping before leaving for Germany to buy something for the road there, and I think she spent all her money on this flower – this orchid in the most beautiful color I've ever seen – and brought it to me as a thank you for the hospitality. Orchids are not cheap, and this one was really showy, so it was really touching. It survived, blooming all the time.
Despite the feeling that she had been unable to reach the student throughout her hosting – which she admits was frustrating at times – the flower gave hope that maybe it wasn't all her fault. – I could see that she was scared and overwhelmed, and I didn't know how to relieve her of that. However, when she came to me with the orchid, I felt relieved that it was ok after all. And this flower reminds me that sometimes, even if you do everything, it doesn't mean that you will solve the problem.
Especially when the problem is war and refugeehood.
Orchid
Ewa is showing me a flowerpot, and two ligatured stems inside. She says that she has never taken such care of any flower before. – This is the first orchid that has survived with me, she assures. She has had it for three years.
Piotr and Ewa already knew that their apartment would not be needed by any of their Ukrainian friends when they decided to take in a young refugee from Kyiv in March 2022. The two have been connected to Ukraine for years – they regularly travel there, carry out Polish-Ukrainian cultural projects, and consequently have managed to build a dense network of contacts.
– To be honest, I felt bad about the fact that the room in our house located so close to the main train station, stands empty and we only target our friends. Ewa straightens up: – I have to interject. To be clear, it wasn't that we were keeping our house for friends either, because we prefer to have friends with us rather than strangers.